There's beauty in the breakdown...

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Dry Ice

Up and down.

We ended things again two nights ago. I think it may be the last time that we end things. There is closure there this time. It's been lacking significantly all these times before. It's hard to have a year wrapped up in someone and see nothing in the end. I am not foolish enough to believe that all of this was for nothing. I learned a lot about you and about me and about love. I don't regret a single second I spent loving you. You offered me friendship and hope (whatever the hell the latter means), but that's enough for me. We both know that it couldn't be.

And Joe died yesterday. This year has been a dark year for many people, most notably my family in my life. Four people have died. That is almost more than have died in my entire lifetime. This one was easier for me, I know that it is what he wanted. He's happy now, a very happy man with his wife. He has missed her for so long now that it almost seems wrong that they have had to spend the past six years apart. I can imagine him now, sitting on the frontporch of a grand farmhouse in his flannel and bibs and straw hat. That was his idea of Heaven.

Down and then up again.

Oh, I love her, keep dreaming of her
Will I understand if she wants to be my friend? Come ease the pain that's in my heart.
("Dry Ice" - Green Day)

11:12 AM - 11.09.04

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