There's beauty in the breakdown... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Heading for a Break Up I know that I should care that I probably did something last night that is going to hurt you. Really, I should feel guilty about the fact that I didn't tell you the truth. And usually I would, but this is too much. You are too much for me. Where I thought you were perfect, you leave me feeling incomplete. Where I thought we were perfect, I find myself overwhelmed. Where I thought that this could be something so deep, I find myself suffocated. The truth is, I don't think this is going to work out. I have this feeling that if it is this hard already, it will only continue to get worse. I have some things I need to work through before I could ever really be with anyone anyhow. And for the first time in a long time, my stuff only has to do with me. It has nothing to do anyone else, including you, please understand that. I just think that it's time for me to start living for what I want right now, instead of always trying to live up to some unrealistic dream. What I did last night was so simple and so easy. And I want to tell someone all about it, but I won't. It's unfair that I enjoyed last night as much as I did because I know where it will lead: absolutely nowhere. Falling star or not, I am destined for demise in that entire situation. I keep sticking my hand back into that fire, even though I know it is going to burn me. So, I need to figure out how to protect myself so that I don't want to get burned. And I can't do that with you because I am afraid that I will misdirect the flame and burn you instead. I have to go now, but I will add to this later. 7:38 AM - 01.15.04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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